Catching Up

My birthday came and went and life kept happening therefore I haven't updated in a while. I just came back from L.A. at the beginning of this week and I'm still tired. I haven't been to the gym, but that's really more of a personal choice since my hair is straight and if I go to the gym I'll sweat all the luciousness out. I should go to bed but I'm not really tired, mostly b/c I have so much on my mind. But since it's a million degrees in my room and I need to wash my face I'm going to have to return to sort it all out at a later date. For some reason I started writing my most personal thoughts and feelings on my myspace page but then realized that was kind of dumb. I know no one reads my myspace blog but if they do then they know me and that kind of defeats the point. I just had a lot of stuff that I needed to get off my chest at the time. Now, there's more stuff on my chest, heart and mind. I'll come back later to figure it out.

Dramamine, Cinnabon and Me

I hate flying. I do not heart it one bit, however, I do heart going to lots and lots of fun, exciting and far away places. In order for me to do those things, I am painfully aware that there must be a plane involved and this never ceases to make me sad. I think my lack of love for the planes stems for the fact that I really, really like to be in control of everything that I can. I'm not particularly bossy, but I do need to know that I am in control of most things that are going to or trying to happen to me. This is why I like to drive. If there is an accident, at least I have the opportunity to say "well, you know, I did all I could" and it be true. If it went down on a plane, I couldn't say that. I don't know how to fly a plane. I couldn't help out in a pinch. I would be useless. I could only sit in my seat and hope for the best (which is pretty much what I do on every flight I take) and that sucks. So, in an effort to eleveate my anxiety I took dramamine which is used for motion sickness. A few people told me that it knocks you completely out and I wanted that for my plane rides. Well, what dramamine did do was make me sleepy when I got off the plane, but while on the plane? Nothing. Absolutely zero. And I'm starting to think this is a pattern. For the last plane ride I had, a friend of mine gave me some Ativan, so I would relax. The required dosage is like 2. I had 3 and was not relaxed at all. Flying just freaks me out that much.

The good part about the airport though is Cinnabon. I love Cinnabon and all that it stands for. 1500 calories and 56 grams of fat all combined in one sweet treat. Delish! I have been eating of this same tired Cinnabon all day. It's really about time for some real food. I can't wait to get to it. I'm also really tired. Must be all that dramamine. I really wanted to be so happy and Yay! today b/c its my birthday eve, but all I really feel is cold, tired, sleepy, annoyed and hungry. These are not the things I want to feel on my pre-bday. I am confident that it will be getting so much better very soon. If not, maybe I'll take just enough dramamine to get me into a light coma and see what happens.

Dear So and So Part Deux

Dear Sleep,

What did I do to make you leave me? Was I so bad that you had to just stop coming around? Tell me what to do. I can change. I know, I know. You hear it all the time. But I promise I'm telling the truth! I can't live without you! No, seriously. I CANNOT live without you. Dude. I am worn completely out and you know it yet you have resorted to games. You tease me during the day and don't show up in the evening. You're mean, but I still love you and miss you.

Desperately Needing You,

B

Dear Birthday,

Hi. I know usually when you come around I'm very excited. And it's not that I'm not this time, it's just that it doesn't seem like that long ago since I last saw you. So as you can see, this is kind of weird. I mean, I just got used to being this very special age and now, I have to be a new age which is not only older but not as milestony or important. Now don't get me wrong. I definitely want to be around to celebrate you, I'm just not feeling the spark, you know? At least I'm not feeling it yet. I'm hoping by Thursday, I will have gotten with the program. If not, I'm sure there will be drinks involved and that usually equals fun.

Getting It Together,

Bree

Dear _________,

Thank you for showing up. You've really been sweet to me these past few weeks. I really enjoy talking to you. Most days you are the best part of my day. You always seem to show up when I need you and I thank you for that. You help me see the best parts of me that I never seem to acknowledge. You continue to challenge my mind and expand my view of "how things should be". I hope our friendship continues to grow and can't wait until our schedules allow for a proper visit. I know you don't think I'm ready, but I am. I'm just waiting on you.

Sincerely,

Bree

Dear Check,

Thank you for coming. You have saved my life.

Gratefully,

Bree

I know, I know...

I've been MIA for quite sometime and I do apologize. I've had so much life to live that I haven't had time to post anything. I'm going to make an effort to do better. A few quick things I've discovered since I've been away:

1) "If I Was Your Girlfriend" by Prince is still one of the hottest songs on the planet.

2) It is possible to work yourself sick.

3) I still care way too much about the world.

4) I'm much more sensitive than I even thought possible.

5) My mind is more sophisticated than I realized.

6) Billy Ocean is awesome

7) A year goes by much faster than you realize.

8) I may be a secret politician.

9) It may not be possible for me to ever get enough sleep.

10) I may be ready to love someone again, someday...soon.

My Most Favorite Song of the Month

I love Dwele and I really love this song. I think I'm going through a period where I really have an appreciation for men who have a sincere appreciation of women. Maybe b/c I sincerely wish to be appreciated. Or maybe I just love this song. Either way, I do love creativity and talent and Dwele has both and therefore he is awesome. Enjoy!

I Love My Gay Gym

First of all, let me say "hello" since I haven't updated in about 3 million years. I have a lot of stuff going on. A whole lot of stuff going on and since I'm currently in a remote location with shaky wireless, it's not as easy to update or write for an extended period of time while online. I'm taking a chance by trying it right now, but it needs to be done. I've recently joined a gym with an obviously gay clientile and it's completely awesome. In fact, I believe I am mostly in love with one of the instructors simply b/c he is probably the most handsome man I have ever seen. He is gorgeous and ageless and smooth and pretty and incredibly scarily fit. The only thing that got me through his class was the fact that I was diagonal to him meaing he was in my line of vision the entire class. His celestial beauty kept me going. I love him.

In addition to him, there are just all these very beautiful, hot, in shape, gorgeous and very nice men every where I look. This sincerely helps my fitness regimine. Does it matter that they couldn't care less about my presence? Not really. I just like looking at prettiness and there is so much candy in there. Sweet, sweet candy. Yum. I get called "baby" and "sweetie" and "honey" and treated so nice. All my instructors give me extra help. It's awesome. Had I known about this phenomenon, I would have joined a mostly gay gym years ago. Where have I been? I will never go to a completely straight gym again. It's just not worth it. I mean, I have a separate pilates studio with great teachers, a salon, massage therapists, yoga & an in-house chiropractor. I almost hate leaving. That place is so, so awesome. I love you gay gym. I really do.

I don't know where you live but if you can get put on with a gay gym, I suggest you do so. It's nothing like it. Oh and if you are a dude, all the chicks in my pilates classes are incredibly hot. It works both ways. Hotness all around. Sweet, sweet candy for everyone.

There is a God

This right here, has made my entire year. You know how they say absence makes the heart grow fonder? Well, Maxwell has been MIA for like ever and when he showed up all unexpectedly on the BET awards of all places, my heart literally stopped. For real. Now, I know if you read this blog you are probably thinking that my heart stops for everyone. I can't say that I don't like the men, but this is different. It's no secret that I'm attracted to creativity and individuality and pure hotness but Maxwell is more than that to me. He is effortless soul. The way he calmly came out on the stage, commanded it, sang the mess out of an Al Green song (Al Green? Not many can tear up one of his songs) was one of the hottest things I've seen. Maxwell is hot, but it's a hot that seeps down into your soul. He is hot from the inside out, which is very, very rare. I don't know him but his energy is completely awesome and if his music is any indication of what it's like to be around him then I pray I am fortunate enough to cross his path. Welcome back love. We've missed you.

Travis is My Boyfriend

Travie's blog just reinforces and reiterates just how awesome he is. It also proves to me on a daily basis that we are more than likely soul mates. As a result, we will probably never meet and that kind of sucks. However, his blog makes me laugh and if we knew each other I'm sure we would be great friends and have ridiculous fun. Too bad he's missing out by not knowing me.

The Most Underrated Overrated

The Celtics are making it really hard for me to believe that they are going to win this game tonight. Really hard. However, I am going to continue to keep hope alive...or go to bed, and at this point bed is looking much more tempting.

I digress.

It's been a while since I've written anything or posted a song or video. This is mainly b/c I have over committed myself in every aspect of my life. Most of the time I don't have enough time to get to bed let alone post my random thoughts on here. However, tonight is a special night. I'm in Atlanta for my secondary job/dream hustle and I don't have to be there until 10am which is almost like a vacation compared to the 7:30am start time of my main hustle. As a result, I can post what I've been thinking about for quite sometime.

Why do people feel Wayne is wack?

I honestly don't get it. Maybe it's b/c I did a stint in New Orleans and I grew to tolerate, then love Wayne as a distant cousin. Or maybe it's b/c I've seen the artistic growth that he's displayed over the years. Or maybe it's b/c Wayne is just dope. No one has to agree with me but if you don't I seriously want to know why. Hip hop fans fall into two basic categories: those who listen to lyrics and those who listen to the beat. Rarely do you get a fan that supports beats AND lyrics. I think this is crazy, and apparently I'm in the minority. I think this is one of the main reasons why I appreciate Wayne. Honestly, he is one of the few emcees (yeah, I said it-emcee) who actually uses his voice as an instrument. Note, he is not the only but he is one of the few. And out of the few, he is probably one of the most creative. Yes, I said creative. Wayne has mastered the metaphor, alliteration, the entendre and he's extremely witty. The downside is that he mumbles. A lot. So much so that if you don't pay attention you miss most of what's being said. And at least 88% of it is hot. If you stop to think about how much of that is off top and not written, it's almost amazing. Contrast Wayne to Kayne for a second. Whereas Kanye is clever, funny and engaging his flow is very labored and while good, it sounds like it took a lot of work to get to each punchline. Whereas a Wayne punchline can appear so unexpectedly that you almost miss it. Most people do b/c they've written him off as a mumbling addict. And while that may be true, that doesn't change the fact that he is extremely talented. I could or probably should cite lines and verses to hammer my point home, but I don't want to. If you listen and pay attention they are obvious and they are good. Today two radio dudes actually said Rick Ross's album was better than Wayne's and implied that the Carter III is garbage. I haven't heard Ricky Ross's album but I'm guessing it's not hotter than Wayne's. Two reasons: 1) Rick Ross has "The Boss" on his album and 2) Wayne has "Let the Beat Build". One song is ok (The Boss) and the other song is awesome (Let the Beat Build). Disagree? Try this. Write down the lyrics to each song. I bet you Wayne's verses will read more interesting, witty and clever. Then factor in that he didn't write this stuff down. That changes the whole game, in my opinion. You may disagree but I will still be right especially in ten years or so when everyone else has finally caught up (like they had to do with 3000) And I would say "of course Wayne is no 3000" but the truth is back in the day no one knew 3000 was going to be "3000" so we'll just have to wait and see what he develops into. My guess is (if he puts the lean down) it's going to be pretty great.

*as an aside please note that I made no mention to that "best rapper alive" stuff b/c Rakim is alive and well, thank you and that title will always be his as long as he continues to breathe.

*oh and the Celtics won. You see? You never know how it's going to turn out.