Dramamine, Cinnabon and Me

I hate flying. I do not heart it one bit, however, I do heart going to lots and lots of fun, exciting and far away places. In order for me to do those things, I am painfully aware that there must be a plane involved and this never ceases to make me sad. I think my lack of love for the planes stems for the fact that I really, really like to be in control of everything that I can. I'm not particularly bossy, but I do need to know that I am in control of most things that are going to or trying to happen to me. This is why I like to drive. If there is an accident, at least I have the opportunity to say "well, you know, I did all I could" and it be true. If it went down on a plane, I couldn't say that. I don't know how to fly a plane. I couldn't help out in a pinch. I would be useless. I could only sit in my seat and hope for the best (which is pretty much what I do on every flight I take) and that sucks. So, in an effort to eleveate my anxiety I took dramamine which is used for motion sickness. A few people told me that it knocks you completely out and I wanted that for my plane rides. Well, what dramamine did do was make me sleepy when I got off the plane, but while on the plane? Nothing. Absolutely zero. And I'm starting to think this is a pattern. For the last plane ride I had, a friend of mine gave me some Ativan, so I would relax. The required dosage is like 2. I had 3 and was not relaxed at all. Flying just freaks me out that much.

The good part about the airport though is Cinnabon. I love Cinnabon and all that it stands for. 1500 calories and 56 grams of fat all combined in one sweet treat. Delish! I have been eating of this same tired Cinnabon all day. It's really about time for some real food. I can't wait to get to it. I'm also really tired. Must be all that dramamine. I really wanted to be so happy and Yay! today b/c its my birthday eve, but all I really feel is cold, tired, sleepy, annoyed and hungry. These are not the things I want to feel on my pre-bday. I am confident that it will be getting so much better very soon. If not, maybe I'll take just enough dramamine to get me into a light coma and see what happens.

Dear So and So Part Deux

Dear Sleep,

What did I do to make you leave me? Was I so bad that you had to just stop coming around? Tell me what to do. I can change. I know, I know. You hear it all the time. But I promise I'm telling the truth! I can't live without you! No, seriously. I CANNOT live without you. Dude. I am worn completely out and you know it yet you have resorted to games. You tease me during the day and don't show up in the evening. You're mean, but I still love you and miss you.

Desperately Needing You,

B

Dear Birthday,

Hi. I know usually when you come around I'm very excited. And it's not that I'm not this time, it's just that it doesn't seem like that long ago since I last saw you. So as you can see, this is kind of weird. I mean, I just got used to being this very special age and now, I have to be a new age which is not only older but not as milestony or important. Now don't get me wrong. I definitely want to be around to celebrate you, I'm just not feeling the spark, you know? At least I'm not feeling it yet. I'm hoping by Thursday, I will have gotten with the program. If not, I'm sure there will be drinks involved and that usually equals fun.

Getting It Together,

Bree

Dear _________,

Thank you for showing up. You've really been sweet to me these past few weeks. I really enjoy talking to you. Most days you are the best part of my day. You always seem to show up when I need you and I thank you for that. You help me see the best parts of me that I never seem to acknowledge. You continue to challenge my mind and expand my view of "how things should be". I hope our friendship continues to grow and can't wait until our schedules allow for a proper visit. I know you don't think I'm ready, but I am. I'm just waiting on you.

Sincerely,

Bree

Dear Check,

Thank you for coming. You have saved my life.

Gratefully,

Bree

I know, I know...

I've been MIA for quite sometime and I do apologize. I've had so much life to live that I haven't had time to post anything. I'm going to make an effort to do better. A few quick things I've discovered since I've been away:

1) "If I Was Your Girlfriend" by Prince is still one of the hottest songs on the planet.

2) It is possible to work yourself sick.

3) I still care way too much about the world.

4) I'm much more sensitive than I even thought possible.

5) My mind is more sophisticated than I realized.

6) Billy Ocean is awesome

7) A year goes by much faster than you realize.

8) I may be a secret politician.

9) It may not be possible for me to ever get enough sleep.

10) I may be ready to love someone again, someday...soon.