I Love A Good Banger

Let me tell you how much I am NOT making it at work today. So much so that this post is being authored from the "internet cafe" at my place of employment. Honestly, if I could do this from my phone I would. As a matter of fact...I think I just might be able to. I'll check on that for the future. Anyway. During one of my many daydreams/momentary losses of focus for the day, I realized that my choices in men are a lot like my choices in music. And I'm not really sure if this is a good or bad thing. What I can tell you is like my music my men usually fall into these three categories: The Classic, The Banger and The Hit. Let me elaborate.

The Classic
In music, classic songs are timeless. They are the songs that you, your kid sibling, your parents and grandparents know. These songs stand the test of time. The Classic Gentlemen is essentially the same. He is what you would call marriage material. He is usually husband handsome. You know, not trendy hot, but a subtle hot that just gets better with age. You can usually recognize him immediately b/c the thought "I would so marry him" runs through your mind. He is educated, intelligent, sweet but not soft, strong but not mean, and all around great. If you are under 25 you probably do not want him. If you are 25 and above you might be thinking about him. If you are over 30 and haven't found him, he is all you talk about. You have also probably dated this guy before but found some crazy reason why you shouldn't be together. In my defense I want to say that I don't think I have dated a bonafide Classic. I think my Classic was just a Banger in disguise.

The Banger
We all know what a Banger is, but for those of you that are old or whatever else you would have to be to not know what a Banger is, I'll explain. In music, a Banger is just that-a song that bangs. A Banger is hot. Hot heat that you can't stop listening to. When you're not listening to it, you hear it in your head. You play it on repeat. It seems like you never get tired of it. Again, it's just that hot. Similarly, The Banger Gentleman is just that hot. You love, love, love him and you just cannot get enough. The thing about the Banger is, eventually you do get tired of playing the same song on repeat. And you find b/c you've played it so much you kind of don't want to hear it again...ever. If a Banger is equipped with more than a hot beat (or hot body) and actually has lyrics (or substance) this can work out nicely. But most of the time, a Banger is just a hot song for that time. Don't get me wrong. When you revisit it, it's still good but you know it wouldn't be on your current playlist. But...because it's so good when you revisit you may have a tendency to forgot how it might not be a good fit on the current playlist. Or you may completely forget and tell yourself that this old ass song is just as good as anything currently out. This is a trap. And since it's so difficult to navigate, I advise you not to revisit. If you can. (I know. No, for real. I know) Moving along to...

The Hit
You know a hit. It's everywhere. You can't get away from it. Everyone loves it. It's the BEST! SONG! EVER! to let the world tell it. You may or may not feel the same way. If you're like me, you probably don't. You can just about guarantee if it's mainstream, I'm probably going to pass on it. Not to say it's not good, it's just not my particular steez. Similarly, The Hit Gentleman is loved by everyone. Your friends love him. Your family loves him. He has the best credentials the world has seen. He is a doctor, lawyer, scientist with a Jr. Nobel Peace Prize. He is second only to the second coming. He is the truth. Again, to let everyone else tell it. To you, he's simply "alright." It's not that he's not handsome b/c he's cute enough. And it's not that he's not smart b/c he's smart enough. Essentially, he meets all of your qualifications you just don't feel him like that which causes everyone a problem. Mostly, you, b/c you have to hear about how wrong you are b/c he is so great. And the truth is, maybe if everyone wasn't on his jock you might be able to step back and see what he was about but since his song is on 24/7 you're over it before it even got started. Sorry. It's just like that sometimes.

I'm sure there are many more categories but these are the three that I have encountered, with the Classic being an exception...or maybe not. He was probably ready and I so was not. And unfortunately this seems to be the way the game is frequently played. I'm not too worried though b/c honestly, whoever is man enough to deal with me will show up and everybody will be ready at the right time and it'll be pretty great. But until that time, I'm going to have to find a way to leave those Bangers alone. Pray for me y'all.