Catching Up

My birthday came and went and life kept happening therefore I haven't updated in a while. I just came back from L.A. at the beginning of this week and I'm still tired. I haven't been to the gym, but that's really more of a personal choice since my hair is straight and if I go to the gym I'll sweat all the luciousness out. I should go to bed but I'm not really tired, mostly b/c I have so much on my mind. But since it's a million degrees in my room and I need to wash my face I'm going to have to return to sort it all out at a later date. For some reason I started writing my most personal thoughts and feelings on my myspace page but then realized that was kind of dumb. I know no one reads my myspace blog but if they do then they know me and that kind of defeats the point. I just had a lot of stuff that I needed to get off my chest at the time. Now, there's more stuff on my chest, heart and mind. I'll come back later to figure it out.

Dramamine, Cinnabon and Me

I hate flying. I do not heart it one bit, however, I do heart going to lots and lots of fun, exciting and far away places. In order for me to do those things, I am painfully aware that there must be a plane involved and this never ceases to make me sad. I think my lack of love for the planes stems for the fact that I really, really like to be in control of everything that I can. I'm not particularly bossy, but I do need to know that I am in control of most things that are going to or trying to happen to me. This is why I like to drive. If there is an accident, at least I have the opportunity to say "well, you know, I did all I could" and it be true. If it went down on a plane, I couldn't say that. I don't know how to fly a plane. I couldn't help out in a pinch. I would be useless. I could only sit in my seat and hope for the best (which is pretty much what I do on every flight I take) and that sucks. So, in an effort to eleveate my anxiety I took dramamine which is used for motion sickness. A few people told me that it knocks you completely out and I wanted that for my plane rides. Well, what dramamine did do was make me sleepy when I got off the plane, but while on the plane? Nothing. Absolutely zero. And I'm starting to think this is a pattern. For the last plane ride I had, a friend of mine gave me some Ativan, so I would relax. The required dosage is like 2. I had 3 and was not relaxed at all. Flying just freaks me out that much.

The good part about the airport though is Cinnabon. I love Cinnabon and all that it stands for. 1500 calories and 56 grams of fat all combined in one sweet treat. Delish! I have been eating of this same tired Cinnabon all day. It's really about time for some real food. I can't wait to get to it. I'm also really tired. Must be all that dramamine. I really wanted to be so happy and Yay! today b/c its my birthday eve, but all I really feel is cold, tired, sleepy, annoyed and hungry. These are not the things I want to feel on my pre-bday. I am confident that it will be getting so much better very soon. If not, maybe I'll take just enough dramamine to get me into a light coma and see what happens.

Dear So and So Part Deux

Dear Sleep,

What did I do to make you leave me? Was I so bad that you had to just stop coming around? Tell me what to do. I can change. I know, I know. You hear it all the time. But I promise I'm telling the truth! I can't live without you! No, seriously. I CANNOT live without you. Dude. I am worn completely out and you know it yet you have resorted to games. You tease me during the day and don't show up in the evening. You're mean, but I still love you and miss you.

Desperately Needing You,

B

Dear Birthday,

Hi. I know usually when you come around I'm very excited. And it's not that I'm not this time, it's just that it doesn't seem like that long ago since I last saw you. So as you can see, this is kind of weird. I mean, I just got used to being this very special age and now, I have to be a new age which is not only older but not as milestony or important. Now don't get me wrong. I definitely want to be around to celebrate you, I'm just not feeling the spark, you know? At least I'm not feeling it yet. I'm hoping by Thursday, I will have gotten with the program. If not, I'm sure there will be drinks involved and that usually equals fun.

Getting It Together,

Bree

Dear _________,

Thank you for showing up. You've really been sweet to me these past few weeks. I really enjoy talking to you. Most days you are the best part of my day. You always seem to show up when I need you and I thank you for that. You help me see the best parts of me that I never seem to acknowledge. You continue to challenge my mind and expand my view of "how things should be". I hope our friendship continues to grow and can't wait until our schedules allow for a proper visit. I know you don't think I'm ready, but I am. I'm just waiting on you.

Sincerely,

Bree

Dear Check,

Thank you for coming. You have saved my life.

Gratefully,

Bree

I know, I know...

I've been MIA for quite sometime and I do apologize. I've had so much life to live that I haven't had time to post anything. I'm going to make an effort to do better. A few quick things I've discovered since I've been away:

1) "If I Was Your Girlfriend" by Prince is still one of the hottest songs on the planet.

2) It is possible to work yourself sick.

3) I still care way too much about the world.

4) I'm much more sensitive than I even thought possible.

5) My mind is more sophisticated than I realized.

6) Billy Ocean is awesome

7) A year goes by much faster than you realize.

8) I may be a secret politician.

9) It may not be possible for me to ever get enough sleep.

10) I may be ready to love someone again, someday...soon.

My Most Favorite Song of the Month

I love Dwele and I really love this song. I think I'm going through a period where I really have an appreciation for men who have a sincere appreciation of women. Maybe b/c I sincerely wish to be appreciated. Or maybe I just love this song. Either way, I do love creativity and talent and Dwele has both and therefore he is awesome. Enjoy!

I Love My Gay Gym

First of all, let me say "hello" since I haven't updated in about 3 million years. I have a lot of stuff going on. A whole lot of stuff going on and since I'm currently in a remote location with shaky wireless, it's not as easy to update or write for an extended period of time while online. I'm taking a chance by trying it right now, but it needs to be done. I've recently joined a gym with an obviously gay clientile and it's completely awesome. In fact, I believe I am mostly in love with one of the instructors simply b/c he is probably the most handsome man I have ever seen. He is gorgeous and ageless and smooth and pretty and incredibly scarily fit. The only thing that got me through his class was the fact that I was diagonal to him meaing he was in my line of vision the entire class. His celestial beauty kept me going. I love him.

In addition to him, there are just all these very beautiful, hot, in shape, gorgeous and very nice men every where I look. This sincerely helps my fitness regimine. Does it matter that they couldn't care less about my presence? Not really. I just like looking at prettiness and there is so much candy in there. Sweet, sweet candy. Yum. I get called "baby" and "sweetie" and "honey" and treated so nice. All my instructors give me extra help. It's awesome. Had I known about this phenomenon, I would have joined a mostly gay gym years ago. Where have I been? I will never go to a completely straight gym again. It's just not worth it. I mean, I have a separate pilates studio with great teachers, a salon, massage therapists, yoga & an in-house chiropractor. I almost hate leaving. That place is so, so awesome. I love you gay gym. I really do.

I don't know where you live but if you can get put on with a gay gym, I suggest you do so. It's nothing like it. Oh and if you are a dude, all the chicks in my pilates classes are incredibly hot. It works both ways. Hotness all around. Sweet, sweet candy for everyone.

There is a God

This right here, has made my entire year. You know how they say absence makes the heart grow fonder? Well, Maxwell has been MIA for like ever and when he showed up all unexpectedly on the BET awards of all places, my heart literally stopped. For real. Now, I know if you read this blog you are probably thinking that my heart stops for everyone. I can't say that I don't like the men, but this is different. It's no secret that I'm attracted to creativity and individuality and pure hotness but Maxwell is more than that to me. He is effortless soul. The way he calmly came out on the stage, commanded it, sang the mess out of an Al Green song (Al Green? Not many can tear up one of his songs) was one of the hottest things I've seen. Maxwell is hot, but it's a hot that seeps down into your soul. He is hot from the inside out, which is very, very rare. I don't know him but his energy is completely awesome and if his music is any indication of what it's like to be around him then I pray I am fortunate enough to cross his path. Welcome back love. We've missed you.

Travis is My Boyfriend

Travie's blog just reinforces and reiterates just how awesome he is. It also proves to me on a daily basis that we are more than likely soul mates. As a result, we will probably never meet and that kind of sucks. However, his blog makes me laugh and if we knew each other I'm sure we would be great friends and have ridiculous fun. Too bad he's missing out by not knowing me.

The Most Underrated Overrated

The Celtics are making it really hard for me to believe that they are going to win this game tonight. Really hard. However, I am going to continue to keep hope alive...or go to bed, and at this point bed is looking much more tempting.

I digress.

It's been a while since I've written anything or posted a song or video. This is mainly b/c I have over committed myself in every aspect of my life. Most of the time I don't have enough time to get to bed let alone post my random thoughts on here. However, tonight is a special night. I'm in Atlanta for my secondary job/dream hustle and I don't have to be there until 10am which is almost like a vacation compared to the 7:30am start time of my main hustle. As a result, I can post what I've been thinking about for quite sometime.

Why do people feel Wayne is wack?

I honestly don't get it. Maybe it's b/c I did a stint in New Orleans and I grew to tolerate, then love Wayne as a distant cousin. Or maybe it's b/c I've seen the artistic growth that he's displayed over the years. Or maybe it's b/c Wayne is just dope. No one has to agree with me but if you don't I seriously want to know why. Hip hop fans fall into two basic categories: those who listen to lyrics and those who listen to the beat. Rarely do you get a fan that supports beats AND lyrics. I think this is crazy, and apparently I'm in the minority. I think this is one of the main reasons why I appreciate Wayne. Honestly, he is one of the few emcees (yeah, I said it-emcee) who actually uses his voice as an instrument. Note, he is not the only but he is one of the few. And out of the few, he is probably one of the most creative. Yes, I said creative. Wayne has mastered the metaphor, alliteration, the entendre and he's extremely witty. The downside is that he mumbles. A lot. So much so that if you don't pay attention you miss most of what's being said. And at least 88% of it is hot. If you stop to think about how much of that is off top and not written, it's almost amazing. Contrast Wayne to Kayne for a second. Whereas Kanye is clever, funny and engaging his flow is very labored and while good, it sounds like it took a lot of work to get to each punchline. Whereas a Wayne punchline can appear so unexpectedly that you almost miss it. Most people do b/c they've written him off as a mumbling addict. And while that may be true, that doesn't change the fact that he is extremely talented. I could or probably should cite lines and verses to hammer my point home, but I don't want to. If you listen and pay attention they are obvious and they are good. Today two radio dudes actually said Rick Ross's album was better than Wayne's and implied that the Carter III is garbage. I haven't heard Ricky Ross's album but I'm guessing it's not hotter than Wayne's. Two reasons: 1) Rick Ross has "The Boss" on his album and 2) Wayne has "Let the Beat Build". One song is ok (The Boss) and the other song is awesome (Let the Beat Build). Disagree? Try this. Write down the lyrics to each song. I bet you Wayne's verses will read more interesting, witty and clever. Then factor in that he didn't write this stuff down. That changes the whole game, in my opinion. You may disagree but I will still be right especially in ten years or so when everyone else has finally caught up (like they had to do with 3000) And I would say "of course Wayne is no 3000" but the truth is back in the day no one knew 3000 was going to be "3000" so we'll just have to wait and see what he develops into. My guess is (if he puts the lean down) it's going to be pretty great.

*as an aside please note that I made no mention to that "best rapper alive" stuff b/c Rakim is alive and well, thank you and that title will always be his as long as he continues to breathe.

*oh and the Celtics won. You see? You never know how it's going to turn out.

God Bless Debbie Allen

I'm watching "So You Think You Can Dance?" and Debbie Allen shows up. I never watch this show so I had no idea she was a judge. Can I tell you how much I love Debbie Allen? She's been my favorite since I saw some old "Fame" reruns somewhere and then she followed that love up w/ a stint on "A Different World" playing some therapist lady who's wig falls off. And although simply amazing, believe it or not, Debbie Allen really isn't the subject of this post. The subject is myspace, or more specifically, how myspace manages to kill dreams and break hearts. How, you ask? Allow me to explain. On myspace there's a category for "relationship status" which seems to cause me all sorts of problems. I've managed to find out ex-boyfriends are currently "in a relationship" when I personally feel they should be doing something different all together. I think I've briefly mentioned this before. All I can say if I'm working on not being so nosy. Anyway. Today's "in a relationship" notice came from my super amazing, super smart, super hilarious boyfriend Aaron McGruder, founder, creator and genius behind the best show/comic strip in the world-The Boondocks. I went on his page b/c I wanted to see if he had a blog b/c I figured it would be hilarious, cause you know, he's hilarious. Instead of a super hilarious, incredibly smart blog, I find the words "in a relationship" under relationship status. In a relationship? Aaron how could you do this do me? I mean, I didn't think we were going to get married, but I did think we were maybe going to one day run into each other and start dating and have a great hilariously, fun brief relationship. He's everything I like. A cool nerd. I love cool nerds. But b/c he is so very cool, some other lucky lady has scooped him up. Oh well. I still have Boondocks.

I Love A Good Banger

Let me tell you how much I am NOT making it at work today. So much so that this post is being authored from the "internet cafe" at my place of employment. Honestly, if I could do this from my phone I would. As a matter of fact...I think I just might be able to. I'll check on that for the future. Anyway. During one of my many daydreams/momentary losses of focus for the day, I realized that my choices in men are a lot like my choices in music. And I'm not really sure if this is a good or bad thing. What I can tell you is like my music my men usually fall into these three categories: The Classic, The Banger and The Hit. Let me elaborate.

The Classic
In music, classic songs are timeless. They are the songs that you, your kid sibling, your parents and grandparents know. These songs stand the test of time. The Classic Gentlemen is essentially the same. He is what you would call marriage material. He is usually husband handsome. You know, not trendy hot, but a subtle hot that just gets better with age. You can usually recognize him immediately b/c the thought "I would so marry him" runs through your mind. He is educated, intelligent, sweet but not soft, strong but not mean, and all around great. If you are under 25 you probably do not want him. If you are 25 and above you might be thinking about him. If you are over 30 and haven't found him, he is all you talk about. You have also probably dated this guy before but found some crazy reason why you shouldn't be together. In my defense I want to say that I don't think I have dated a bonafide Classic. I think my Classic was just a Banger in disguise.

The Banger
We all know what a Banger is, but for those of you that are old or whatever else you would have to be to not know what a Banger is, I'll explain. In music, a Banger is just that-a song that bangs. A Banger is hot. Hot heat that you can't stop listening to. When you're not listening to it, you hear it in your head. You play it on repeat. It seems like you never get tired of it. Again, it's just that hot. Similarly, The Banger Gentleman is just that hot. You love, love, love him and you just cannot get enough. The thing about the Banger is, eventually you do get tired of playing the same song on repeat. And you find b/c you've played it so much you kind of don't want to hear it again...ever. If a Banger is equipped with more than a hot beat (or hot body) and actually has lyrics (or substance) this can work out nicely. But most of the time, a Banger is just a hot song for that time. Don't get me wrong. When you revisit it, it's still good but you know it wouldn't be on your current playlist. But...because it's so good when you revisit you may have a tendency to forgot how it might not be a good fit on the current playlist. Or you may completely forget and tell yourself that this old ass song is just as good as anything currently out. This is a trap. And since it's so difficult to navigate, I advise you not to revisit. If you can. (I know. No, for real. I know) Moving along to...

The Hit
You know a hit. It's everywhere. You can't get away from it. Everyone loves it. It's the BEST! SONG! EVER! to let the world tell it. You may or may not feel the same way. If you're like me, you probably don't. You can just about guarantee if it's mainstream, I'm probably going to pass on it. Not to say it's not good, it's just not my particular steez. Similarly, The Hit Gentleman is loved by everyone. Your friends love him. Your family loves him. He has the best credentials the world has seen. He is a doctor, lawyer, scientist with a Jr. Nobel Peace Prize. He is second only to the second coming. He is the truth. Again, to let everyone else tell it. To you, he's simply "alright." It's not that he's not handsome b/c he's cute enough. And it's not that he's not smart b/c he's smart enough. Essentially, he meets all of your qualifications you just don't feel him like that which causes everyone a problem. Mostly, you, b/c you have to hear about how wrong you are b/c he is so great. And the truth is, maybe if everyone wasn't on his jock you might be able to step back and see what he was about but since his song is on 24/7 you're over it before it even got started. Sorry. It's just like that sometimes.

I'm sure there are many more categories but these are the three that I have encountered, with the Classic being an exception...or maybe not. He was probably ready and I so was not. And unfortunately this seems to be the way the game is frequently played. I'm not too worried though b/c honestly, whoever is man enough to deal with me will show up and everybody will be ready at the right time and it'll be pretty great. But until that time, I'm going to have to find a way to leave those Bangers alone. Pray for me y'all.

Random

I'm watching "The Paper" and I'm getting annoyed with how messy these kids are. Is everybody that messy in high school? And if so, why? Honestly, I don't know why I'm acting like being messy in high school is new. People are messy in college. Hell, people are messy as adults. This post isn't going to be cute or funny. I'm just going to write. Last night I couldn't sleep b/c I had one continuous panic attack. About a week ago, I committed to making a trip that, in hindsight (or maybe foresight), I don't want to make. I thought I was ready. I thought that it may actually be fun. But now I don't think so. Actually, now I know I'm just not ready and I may never be ready. Sometimes things just end and that's all there is to it. And sometimes even though you can forgive you just can't forget.

I Decided...

that gym dude is a clown. I think I figured this out the post before last but I wanted to give this person the benefit of the doubt. I've decided that I don't want to do that anymore. I'm all about career and the betterment of me at the moment. While it's cool to hang out with hot guys and have fun and etc, it's also really annoying to not know where you stand with someone you keep flirting (?) with. Pretty much, he made a joke that I really didn't appreciate it. It wasn't crass or vulgar but it was a little "wtf?" In one of our "flirty" moments, he told me that he used to play football. Well, last Saturday, to speed up our "flirting" I asked if he was a Wide Receiver when he played football. He looked at me and said he played football in high school, then he told me, ME (!) that maybe I should stick to what I know. What the hell does that mean? B/c I didn't know, I asked. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to clear up my confusion. He just repeated that I should "you know, just stick to what you know." I politely informed him that I hoped he wasn't insinuating that I didn't know about football or sports in general. He again just repeated that I should stick to what I knew. So I told him maybe he should stick to the bank (since that's where he works) and turned and walked away. I vaguely remember him calling out "talk to you later" or some foolishness behind me, but I was done. And I'm still done. Whatever homie. I saw him today and he tried to make some type of small talk but I wasn't that interested today. He said stick to what I know and unfortunately that isn't him. Sorry homie.

Strawberry Cake Mix is the Devil

Wild Things is a horrible movie. Just thought I'd put that out there since I'm currently spending my Sunday pre-afternoon watching it. Anyway. Back to the topic at hand. Strawberry cake has turned out to be my arch-nemesis. Long ago, in a land far away, often referred to as New Orleans, my roommate had a birthday celebration. Another friend of ours made her a birthday cake. It was the biggest cake I had ever seen and it was made of strawberry mix with strawberry icing on top. That cake stayed at our house for weeks and I managed to eat a piece every. single. day. I ate strawberry cake long after it was still good. When it got hard, I warmed it up in the microwave. I could not leave it alone. I loved that cake. I think JYR eventually threw it away while I was at school or something. I don't think I was in the house when it happened. I was thankful when it was gone though. She knew I didn't have the willpower to do it own my own. I will be forever grateful to her for saving me from that cake. Needless to say, I thought all of this was behind me. Not so. Last night, I went to see a co-worker/friend b/c her daughter was having a birthday party. She invited me over to get some food and since I love food I agreed. Well, when I got there what was on the table staring me in the face? No, not strawberry cake, but it's more seductive partners, strawberry cupcakes. I love cupcakes more than real cake and mostly b/c they are just mini-cakes, which makes them easier to eat. You don't have to cut...anyway, you get the point. So I ate one and it was delicious. I even had ice cream (also delicious). She packed 3 cupcakes to go and so here I am, conflicted b/c I just started working out with all my might trying my best to get back to my fighting weight...BUT... I love, love, love cupcakes. And the truth is I already ate one this morning. I'm losing. So I have to go to the gym and do at least 2 hours of cardio which doesn't really make me want to get out of the bed. Decisions. Decisions. Maybe I'll just eat another one and really make that cardio worth my while...

Why Are You Missing?

Yum. Me. Chico DeBarge was probably the hottest thing about '97. Maxwell and D'Angelo being two very distinct exceptions, of course. My best friend had this cd and we would wear. it. out. This was one of my favorite songs. What is most puzzling is that after such a hot ass album this dude gets so missing. How does that happen? I mean, at least D'Angelo and Maxwell had the decency to stick around for a second or third album. Chico? I think he had another album, but it came out like 3 or 4 years after this hotness and well, wasn't hot. Jail should have made him it's spokesperson. I mean, if that's what it does to you then maybe it's not all bad? Seriously folks. The way he came out is not the way he went in. If jail is in some way responsible for this...then I'm definitely not going to hate it.

Yay! Yay! Yay!

This morning I checked my balance and to my surprise God (or the IRS-depending on how you address higher powers) blessed me with an unexpected refund. I figured I might get one but I didn't think it would be so respectable. I actually received double what I was expecting. As you can guess I am extremely excited about all this money falling into my bank account and I would like to take this time to respectfully ask that it keep happening. I do so love an overflowing bank account. Usually I have to work about a million hours to get a bonus but in this case I didn't have to do, well, anything. And that my friends is the most awesome check of all-the unexpected one. Moving along. So gym dude and I have been flirting on a third grade level for a few weeks, however, I know not one important fact about him with the exception of his first name, what he does, and that he's hot. Is he single? Not a clue. Is he straight? Who knows. Is he interested in me? Again, I'm at a loss. We had a rather lame conversation today so I'm not feeling so encouraged. Our jokes weren't that funny today and I'm getting a little tired of flirting. Mostly b/c I'm impatient and not so good at flirting. However, I can console myself with the fact that I did get 2 good solid hours of working out this morning, so I am well on my way back to my fighting weight. Hopefully.

I know this song (and video) has been out for a while now but it's still my favorite. This song is so London. Everytime I hear it I just want to get on a plane and be out! I also feel like she has crazy chemistry with Kanye in this. And dare I say, he actually appears to be cute and somewhat charming in this video. I know it'll probably never happen, but once (or if) he gets over his ex he should just go ahead and hook it up with Estelle. She seems like she would be a good match for Ye. And then they can double date with me and Pharrell (j/k...sort of).

Two For the Price of One

I stole a movie today. Well, I didn't actually physically steal a movie, but I did take it back to junior high, meaning, I paid for one movie, saw it and when it was over I snuck into another movie of my choice. I know I should feel some sort of remorse for this, but considering a gallon of gas is roughly the same price as seeing a movie, and neither should cost as much as it does, I figured I had to take this into my own hands. At least for today. I'm usually a law abiding citizen, but today I wanted to see two movies and not have to drop close to $20 for doing so. I also got popcorn, so I spent close to $20 for the matinee anyway. I did what I had to do. Don't judge me. I've been working almost everyday straight for 2 months and I am so very tired. I have a few days off and I am trying to soak up every moment of it. Since I've been off, I've had a few drinks, stolen a movie, gone to the gym and actually had time to do cardio and managed to get like 10 hours a sleep a night. So beautiful and oh so fulfilling. I also figured since I've managed to luck up on more time I could actually post something new. So, Viola! Enjoy.

Question of the Day: How Do You Flirt At the Gym?

I've heard from several people that the gym is a "pick up" spot. How is this even possible? I guess I ask b/c when I go to the gym, I don't go to talk and catch up. I go to work out. I actually sweat at the gym. I probably don't smell that great when I leave the gym. I don't talk to anyone at the gym. I barely talked to my trainers. I don't wear extra hot outfits to the gym. If I spend my money on something cute, it will not be gym clothes. Don't get me wrong. If that's how you roll, I have no judgement about it, it's just not me. However, this morning when I was working out, I happened to have an encounter with a very attractive gymtastic (ie. very fit and hot) young man. I had done a lot of arm work and was trying to adjust the height on another machine. I was so weak that I couldn't get it together so I just started laughing to myself. When I looked up, there was this very hot young man laughing at me as well. He came over and adjusted the machine for me while we both laughed. I tried to explain what happened but I couldn't b/c we were laughing so much. I thanked him, he said "no problem" and every body went back to gym business as usual. I relayed the story to my mom and my friend Nik and both asked if I had gotten a name or number. The answer is "no". Why? B/c I don't feel hot at the gym. I feel sweaty, tired and of questionable freshness. This is not how I like to feel when I flirt with potential dates. Apparently flirting at the gym does get done. I would like to know how. Feel free to let me know how it's done b/c seriously, I would very much like to see this dude again in a non-gym setting.

A Little Saturday Mimi

I still love this song. There is nothing like a little Mimi while you're on the treadmill. Currently, "Touch My Body-Remix" is in heavy rotation on my Ipod. The dancing in this video is not the business but I like the cartoon. That said, that "Touch My Body" video is not the business to me. That is why it was not posted today.

Ain't This Some ****!

I don't have much love for complainers in general. As a result, I try my best not to complain or whine or be annoying. But I have to let this out. As you know (if you know me anyway, and if you're reading this blog you probably do) my mom lives out of the country. Since I managed to lose my car in a very irresponsible turn of events that had little to do with me and a lot to do with the bad judgement of another driver, my mom left me her car to use b/c she's mostly away. This all would be extremely awesome if my mom managed to care about the well being of her cars. Well, she doesn't and that means, while it may look good on the outside it's more than likely corroded under the hood. Again, let me stress that I am not complaining. I love my mom and through my years of driving I have been the recipient of many of my mom's hand me down cars and it's always the same thing. Cool on the outside, corroded where it counts. To bring you up to date, I have been the caregiver of this car for almost 2 years now. Last year I managed to take care of the insurance, general maintenance, registration, etc. Everything was cool. This year while my mom was home, she tried to take care of some car stuff and it has been a no go. Back taxes owed, major part needs to be replaced, registration is off-all of it. How did this happen? Hell, if I know. What I do know is that "the plan" was to have it all taken care of before she flew back out to paradise but that hasn't happened and now I have to make it happen. I don't mind, but I could have stepped in 2 weeks ago. I love my mom but we just approach things differently. And man do I wish I could pay this $700+ differently (meaning not at all) but it is what it is. Did I mention that I love my mom? B/c I do and I really appreciate her pretty much turning her car over to me but man, again, we could have done this so differently. Anyway. I'm done with this. At least I have a job and can pay for this stuff. That's the best part. I'm just still learning to be able to watch a big chunk of my money peace out and not have a heart attack. I can't help it. I've always been so serious about my paper. I'll be over this by the end of today but right now, I'm still not that pleased. I'm going to reheat some Chinese food, watch Extreme Makeover and let it go. Have a great Saturday!

Throwback

Toni braxton - you're makin' me high
Uploaded by hakim93200

Let me just say that I want every birthday that I have from this day forward to involve this kind of entertainment. Please understand that I do NOT mean male strippers. I mean, sure, some ladies love them, but I'm not one of them. Just don't find them to be particularly sexy. What I do find sexy is the heated hotness that is Bryce Wilson (playing Toni's love interest in the video). I love sexy chocolate with nice eyebrows, lips and lashes. YUM-ME! But seriously, this video is like 12 years old and there haven't been many more that featured an array of hotness such as this. I find that to be a problem. J, Q and whoever else is reading that knows me, please start planning to make this scene of big playing cards and hot men showing up to my penthouse suite waiting to be rated a reality. I'll love you forever for it. That being said, I must be more proactive about getting back in shape. I was supposed to work out today but I have decided to play on the computer instead, which is not a good choice. I think I'm going to have to get a picture of Mr. Ross and place it on my computer screen to remind me of what I don't want for myself. Anyway, I have stuff to do and it involves getting off the computer and out of the bed, so I'm going to work toward that. Have a great rest of the weekend.

Pink Pants

I didn't wake up until 3pm today and it felt great. I haven't had that much sleep in a long time. I should probably follow that up with more sleep so I can get up in the morning and FINALLY go to the gym so I won't be mistaken for Rick Ross. Anyway, last weekend or the weekend before that I went on a work pants frenzy. I got new running shoes at a liquidation sale which was cool. I also got a pair of pink pants. I know. Pink pants. I mean, they looked so cute on the manniquin. And they look cute on me but they're pink. Not soft pastel pink, but pink pink. Almost peptol bismol pink. Not as hot pink but pretty pink. I'm not sure that I can or should wear these to work but please believe that I'm going to try. My laptop is hot and I need to wash my face so I'm going to bed but if you have any suggestions on how I can tone down the pinkness of these pants feel free to leave me a comment and let me know. Caio!

March Husband

I love this song. I'm really going to have to go out and buy all of this dude's albums. Raheem DeVaughn is officially my March husband. I love him.

10 Things You Should Know About Me...

1. I never go to bed when I should.

2. I love to play songs on repeat.

3. Shopping all day makes me physically ill.

4. I'm really shy.

5. I remember more than most people think I do.

6. I can always find a sponsor.

7. I want to be a nun.

8. I have control issues.

9. I hate exercise but I love the results.

10. I'm the hardest working lazy person you'll ever come across.

Mixtapes

Friday night, I decided that it would be a great idea to freshen up my Itunes playlist. That was not a bright idea. In fact, it's never a bright idea. On average it takes about an hour to delete or add a new song. Knowing this, I decided to start this process right before I went to bed. I told myself it was only going to take 20 minutes tops, but that turned into 2 hours. I blame my mixtape problem for this. You see I've always liked different types of music so in order to make one complete tape I had to mix it up. Sometimes this meant recording a song off the radio. At other times it was recording a song from another tape. Either way the process was pretty ridiculous. You would think with the all the advances in technology making a mix CD would be alot easier. I'm here to tell you that it's not. Depending on where I get the song I still have to try to cut off the DJ talking over all the good parts. I still have to decide the order of the playlist. I still have to start all over if the format isn't right. And in some cases making a mix CD is a little worse than making a tape. Case in point: if I messed up on a tape I could just tape over it. If I mess up on a CD, I have to get a new CD and start over. I'm saying all of this b/c I chose to use my good, valuable bedtime to make three different playlist for a friend of mine. I will not get paid for this. My CD's probably won't even be reimbursed. And it's cool. It just takes so much time. But he deserves to hear "Dedication 2" and every other song Wayne has been on this year and I feel it's my duty to help out the less fortunate. Besides he told me that my mixes are sick and flattery will get you everywhere with me.

The Wait is Over!

This right here, is a certified example of pure awesomeness. First of all this magazine is sold on a website entitled "House of Nubian" where you can get anything from a bezeled out watch, to incense, to a bed in a bag. Hustle man has officially moved to the internet. All the convenience of the incense & oil man at the touch of your hand. Secondly, the title of the magazine is F.E.D.S. or Finally, Every Dimension of the Streets. This has provided me & JYR with so much entertainment over the past week. She was also responsible for finding this beautiful mess, so it's only right that I share her synopsis of this great piece of literature. Check it out below.

"That is def someone's Uncle LeRoy "Tuskegee Red" Watson, hottest dice player and numbers game runner this side of the Mississippi. Seated next to him is his longtime bottom chick Dottie "Yellow Bone Boom Boom" Washington. They met at a strip club in '72, where she worked as a cocktail waitress/bathroom attendant. Tuskegee Red asked for some of her sugar and they've been making sweet Kool-Aid ever since. After a brief stint in the state pen on some light RICO charges, T-Red was released and became a gas station attendant at the local BP, which he later bought for $250 and a jar of pickled pig feet. He and Dottie never had children, but they do have two teacup poodles and a Rottweiler they consider family.

Upon closer inspection, I am pretty sure that picture was taken during a conjugal visit. If that isn't a prison uniform he has on, I don't know what is.

Seriously, this magazine is like the Sister 2 Sister of street life."
Exactly.

It's Been A Long Time, I Shouldna Left You

I finally figured out what the problem was with the format. I wanted to post, but everytime I would come to my blog the format would be off and I would just get so irritated. At first I thought it was the Superbowl videos, so I reluctantly took them off and things were still f'ed up. I soon realized it was all b/c of Ginuwine that everything was so jacked up. He must not have appreciated my post. In return he put a small case of roots on my blog. I guess all is forgiven now b/c everything's back to normal. It was a long, rough week and a long informative weekend. I'll catch you up later. I'm sleepy so I'm going to bed.

My Heart & Prayers Go Out to You...

Ginuwine - Tell Me Do U Wanna
Uploaded by R33f

Ginuwine - In Those Jeans
Uploaded by hakim93200

Put Ginuwine at the top of your prayer lists b/c he is going through it.

Changes

I really don't have the time to write or reflect at the present time but my mind keeps wandering off while I try to do more important (and much more boring) things. Sometimes I reflect on past decisions or lack thereof and I think about all of the things that I could have done better or just differently. I think that's why I'm so hard on my little sister at times. I've made it a mission to try A LOT of things, some favorable some not, and I really want her to have the luxury of not having to learn from the same mistakes as I did. I'm learning that this is probably impossible. If you have a sibling you know what I mean. Sometimes I feel like my mistakes mean nothing at all. But I'm starting to realize that they do mean something to someone and most of the time it has turned out to be me. I mean, my sister listens as much as a little sister living her own life can, but she's got to do her and honestly, I respect that. And truthfully, I'm really the one that needs to learn from my mistakes b/c it's my life. So, I guess I've learned that while my mistakes are valuable teaching tools, they are ultimately for me to learn from and if anyone else benefits then it's purely a bonus. It's still really hard when you love someone a whole lot and you see them taking a well travelled path that didn't end particularly well for you, but I guess that's how parents feel all the time. Thankfully, my mom sits back quietly as my sister and I continue to live our own lives. She only interjects when necessary or when asked and I love her for it. Well, since I've gone over my 6 minute typing allotment I have to go, but please hug your parent or parents. They're just people doing the best that they can.

Give It Up

That's what I need to do. Just give it up and go to sleep. I guess I'm staying up b/c my sister flies out tomorrow morning. This was probably the most time I've got to spend with her since...? See? It's been that long. Of course I'm proud, happy, excited, and all that other good stuff, but I'm going to miss her a little bit. I got used to laughing with her and talking to her everyday. She's hilarious and she understands the family things that go on that a lot of my friends don't. Anyway. I'm fine. Just ridiculously sleepy and feeling slightly single. Which is weird b/c any other day (or night) I have absolutely no problem with being single, but tonight it doesn't feel so sweet. Maybe this is hormonal? Well, beats me. I'm going to sleep. And just to make myself feel better, I should probably dream about Kerry Rhodes. I mean it couldn't hurt...

The Great State of New York

Yessir, NY is killing 'em in the football game. No, I have absolutely no idea what the Jets' record is. And quite frankly I really do not care. What I do care about is how hot Kerry Rhodes is. He plays for the NY Jets & if you add in the hotness that is Plaxico (NY Giants) NY is officially 2 for 2. And I'm suddenly jealous of all the fun my little sister will be having in her new city.

New Addiction

I have somehow managed to develop an insane addiction to coffee. Anybody that knows me knows that this was not the case as recently as a year ago. I blame my job and other current professional endeavors. I had more coffee this week than water and that is so not the business at all. To remedy my bad choices, I had a very tall glass of water this morning after my half super mug of double chocolate flavored coffee with vanilla cream & of course splenda b/c I'm addicted to that too. Because of all this coffee drinking I started to make some parallels. Drinking coffee (the way I drink it-flavored & full of cream & sweetener) taste like drinking hot chocolate. And it gives me the same chocolatey euphoria if you will. I know that people say it's some type of something in chocolate that replicates the feeling of "love" but I think it just might be the caffeine doing what it does. Seriously. Case in point, I haven't thought about guys in a minute. Ok, not exactly. But I haven't thought about sex much. Ok, that's not really true either. But there is no sex going down and I think coffee is helping me with that. See? I can tie it all together when it really counts. Anyway. I really need to get back to my productive agenda. I just needed a quick break to explain the joy that coffee gives me.

Because the Joy Is Still So Fresh...

Absolutely Gorgeous. Oh and the catch was pretty good too...

The Best Commercial EVER!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, when I saw this last night I died. I could not stop laughing, first b/c I just KNEW it was fake and then b/c the soundtrack was dude playing the oboe. Completely hilarious. My sister reminded me to look Chester up and I did and the story is actually real making this commerical even better. My sweet, sweet Jesus how I love the Superbowl and all of the foolishness that comes with it. This commercial is awesome. I salute you Chester Pitts.

Yay Giants!!!!

How great is this picture?

That was one of the best games I have ever seen. Usually Superbowl games go by very very slowly to me. But this game seemed to go by so fast even though it wasn't a high scoring game. How about that Giant's defense? They played the mess out of that football game. My (not!) husband managed to play through all the pain, ridicule and whatever else that was going on and landed that perfect catch. It was so pretty. I thought it was great when Pam Oliver mentioned that people were calling him the MVP of the game and he said it was all about the defense. Which was 100% correct. Defense set that win up for real. Even Eli has a ring now so he doesn't have to be in the shadow of everyone else. It was just a sweet game. My mom even said she saw my cousin flash across the screen. So Yay Giants! Yay Plaxico! Yay Eli! Now that it's all over I hope Plaxico can get his ankle and knee and whatever else healed up. I also hope he gets some rest and gets to spend lots of time with his family (his son is a cutie pie) Ok, I have to get back to my regularly scheduled life. I just wanted to take some time out to give props where they were due.

Dear So and So

Dear Plaxico,

You are very tall, chocolatey & hot-just like I like 'em. Thank you for your general existence. I know that you are unavailable & I respect that, it's just that you are really hot and I really respect that as well. I will be watching the SuperBowl for you and my cousin. Please win. Oh and thanks for accepting my message of "hello & congrats" even though we are strangers. That was nice of you. Man, you are hot.

Respectfully,

Bree


Dear MySpace,

You are not the best of both worlds. On one hand you are amazing b/c I can find people I have been looking for for years. On the other hand, you are full of ex-boyfriends that I would rather pretend never happened or existed. And of course I have to know what they are doing, meaning subjecting myself to pure foolishness on their pages. Resulting in being slightly (ok, majorly) pissed about the content. My own fault of course. Whatever. I still love you b/c your good heavily outweighs your bad. And I fux with you for that.

Devotedly yours,

Bree

Dear Self,

Take it to bed.

Bree

Dear TD,

You are reminescent of Plaxico and that is SO dangerous. But I'm intrigued. So very intrigued.

Bree

Things I Learned in '07

While I was ranting on myspace this morning (which is an ENTIRELY different story) I started to think about the things that I learned and or accomplished last year. And probably still need to work on in '08. And these are the results...

1. Actually left a dude when it was time to leave (instead of waiting for another month, year, or mess up)

2. Seriously moved on from an egregious heartbreak & meant it.

3. Sincerely apologized for hurting someone.

4. Was sincerely loved & appreciated.

5. Actually separated sex from love.

6. Gave myself the same respect I would have given someone else.

7. Took care of financial business.

8. Saved money.

9. Saved money for someone else.

10. Loved someone enough to say "no"

11. Kept the 'goods' to myself.

12. Learned that curiosity doesn't kill the cat but it hurts like hell when satisfied.

13. Somethings are just NOT worth your time.

14. There's a better way to say everything.

15. Fear is bullshit, but I still get scared.

16. You never get over some people.

17. Sometimes you don't wish people the best, but one day you will.

18. Sometimes you will & do care about people that don't care about you.

19. Sometimes 'fuck' is the only word that will do

20. Trusted God with my whole heart, soul, mind & body.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, ok. I KNOW I am extremely late. And I also know it's almost not even January anymore. But guess what? It's still 2008 folks so "Happy New Year" it is! There have been and probably will continue to be some slight administrative changes (which probably won't matter b/c I have a readership of like 2, but I love you all the same-kisses) on the blog. The most obvious one being that the artist formerly known as my "favorite chocolate drop" Reggie Bush is no longer on his own personal welcoming slideshow. The reasoning is simple: that was '07. In '08 I'm moving on to different chocolates, brown finesses or whatever may come, b/c I don't discrimination when it comes to sweetness. While it's on my mind, I would like to say a heartfelt RIP to all the loved ones we lost in '07 & the tip of '08 famous (PIMP C, Big Moe, Heath Ledger), personal (god-nephew, cousin's grandma) and whoever else decided to end their personal journey here on earth. Additionally, I would like to send congrats to everybody that had personal/professional victories this year
(my cousin for getting it poppin with the Giants and going to the SuperBowl-Yay!, Q for being on her way to Brazil to play her heart out in soccer, & baby sis for being on the way to NY to make it happen) 2008 is different folks. I can feel it in the air. So you better go ahead and claim your greatness now. If not, you'll only have yourself to blame in the end. And trust me, it will not be worth it.